When the couch calls
by paddylover2007
Summary: Draco forgets one key piece of advice which is"Don't be a fool, wrap your tool." now He's dealing with a hormonal hysterical Harry and he gets to know the Evil lumpy couch of doom, very well. Poor poor Draco, Don't worry your still Harry's Snookie Bear!
1. Chapter 1

Title:When the couch calls!

Fandom:Harry Potter

Warnings: Mpreg, OOC,AU,hormones, M/M goodness(nothing explicit)

Rating: M

Summary: Draco forgets one key piece of advice which is"Don't be a fool, wrap your tool." now He's dealing with a hormonal hysterical Harry and he gets to know the Evil lumpy couch of doom, very well. Poor poor Draco, Don't worry your still Harry's Snookie Bear!

Disclaimer: I dont own Harry Potter nor do Imake any money from this.

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Draco was nervous as he was getting ready in his room. And being nervous was one thing Draco hated. Malfoy's don't get nervous. They should be mostly calm and collected at all times. At least that's what his father had drilled into his head since childhood. He really hoped Harry would say yes after the small fortune he had paid for the ring.

* * *

a private room at a posh wizard restaurant

"Harry, we need to talk." Draco says while looking into Harry's eyes

"About what Draco?" Harry asks after he takes a bite of his treacle tart.

"Harry, luv, you know I love you right?" Draco asks

" Yes, I do, I love you as well." Harry states wondering where this conversation was heading.

" Good, well know this I will love you forever and always. I will support you in any and every way that I am able. Harry James Potter will you marry me?" Draco asks as he pulls out a ring box from his pocket;and he opens it showing Harry the ring it holds inside.

" Oh my! I didn't expect this at all. I thought you were breaking up with me when you said 'we need to talk'. Yes! of course I will marry you." Harry says in mini-babble As Harry and Draco walk out of the restaurant hand in hand Harry stares down at the bright emerald stone (that happens to be the same shade as his eyes) that is surrounded by mini diamonds sparkling brightly in the moonlight and he just smiles.

* * *

a few months later at Harry and Draco's apartment

"Draco, I hate you!" screamed Harry "You never said I could get pregnant!"

"I am sorry honey, I didn't think; its only the really powerful wizards who can get pregnant." said a very scared Draco

"And I am the boy who just won't freaking die. And I am the most amazing wizard in our generation if that doesn't say powerful; I don't know what would. You should have worn a condom anyway you ass." said Harry in a deadly voice with just a hint of sarcasm.

A very scary combo in Draco's opinion. "I know sweetie, I forgot." Draco replied bashfully

"OH, you forgot. Well you can forget ever touching me again Malfoy. And by the way your sleeping on the couch tonight. The baby and I don't want to be near you right now." says Harry just before the bedroom door slams

"Harry, I am so sorry. I am an idiot please talk to me." cried a pleading Draco

"We will talk tomorrow; after I tell Hermione." was his muffled reply

"Harry wait, your telling the mud uh I mean muggle born tomorrow."

"Yes, I am. Now go to sleep."

Shit, Granger will hurt me. Hell she nearly broke my jaw when I insulted the dumb bird and that oaf Hagrid back in third year. What the hell would she do to me now that I knocked up her best friend. Draco thought as he fell into a troubled sleep on the lumpy couch.

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An:I hope you like. please review


	2. Chapter 2

Disclaimer: I dont own Harry Potter nor do I make any money from this.

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The next day at Draco's and Harry's apartment

"Hi, Harry and hello, to you Draco." Hermione says as she exits the fireplace

" You said you had something to tell me?

"Yes, We do Mione; please have a seat." Hermione sat down in the red arm chair closest to the fire place. It also gave her a clear view of the rooms other occupants.

"Do you want any tea Mione" Harry asks

"No, I am fine Harry, just tell me whats going on? she asks

"OK, here goes nothing. Hermione, I'm pregnant!" Harry states to his shocked friend.  
Hermione's eyes went wide with shock. Then quickly narrowed with anger and her Face turned bright red

"Malfoy, what in the hell were you thinking? Wait don't answer that, I know what the answer is. You weren't thinking;Well, not with your brain, just your dick. You arrogant slime ball." Hermione ranted at the terrified ex-slytherin

"_O.O_" Draco didn't reply, he was to shocked. And maybe a tiny bit terrified; not that he would ever admit that. He was a Malfoy after all.

" Well, what do you have to say for yourself?" she asked again half a minute later. When she realized Draco wasn't answering her.

" I forget to wear a condom, and it completely slipped my mind how powerful Harry is." Draco said very carefully, An angry Hermione is not someone you mess with. He thought. Gee-sh, shes pushy.

"Oh, so you forgot, that makes me feel so much better. My best friend got knocked up by a nitwit; a complete utter idiot." she said while she shook her head sadly

"Hey, wait a dang minute it takes two to do the tango. Harry played his part in this as well. He is a little minx in the sack you know." he said

"Don't you dare blame this on Harry, he innocently believed that guys couldn't get pregnant. You should count you blessings. I have half mind to castrate you;with a rusty spoon.I wont though for Harry's sake. He loves you. For some strange reason. Just know this I am watching you; got it." she says with a slight twinkle in her eye. She was remembering the day back in 3rd year when she had punched Draco.  
Hee, he has almost the same expression on his face. Hmm, terrifying Slytherin' s is really fun. I should do it more often. She thought with a grin. Which actually come out looking like a smirk that would make Snape proud.  
"Well?" She asks after a minute

"Yes, I got it."

"Good remember what I said? I have to go. I will talk to you later Harry. " she said as she stepped into the swirling green flames. And an instant later she was gone.

"Harry"

"Yes"

"Have I told you lately; how much I love you, and how much that I need you."

"Awe, Snookie Bear! That is so sweet. I love you to, but your still sleeping on the couch"

As Draco settled into sleep that night. He thought to himself it would be a long 9 months. And why did his pet name have to be Snookie Bear? Gah he would never live that down if anyone heard that.

_  
"Draco, I hate you! You made me fat, I look like a overstuffed marshmallow." Harry cried to Draco as he sat next to him on the couch.

it was a few weeks after he had that chat with Hermione. And Harry had finaly let Draco back into their bedroom a few days ago.

"Oh, Harry hush. The healer said you have only gained about 10lbs" Draco said as he wrapped Harry in his arms.

"Don't touch me! That's what got us in this mess in the first place. And I cant even button my jeans anymore Draco. People are going to notice soon. And we still haven't told your parents yet. When are we telling your parents anyway?" Harry asks

"Um...soon" Draco says

"How soon is soon?"Harry asks with a glare

"Uh how does 7 months sound?" Draco asks

"I knew it. Your so ashamed of me." Harry shrieked

"No, I'm not just that my parents are scary. And they will kill me for knocking you up." Draco calmly replies

"Were telling them tomorrow, Draco" Harry says before walking into the bedroom and warding the door.

Draco stretches out on the couch. Thinking to himself about all the horrible way's tomorrow meeting could go.

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please read and review.


	3. Chapter 3

Disclaimer: I don't own Harry Potter nor do I make any money from this.

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the apartment the next day

"How could you be so stupid, Draco your father and I raised you better than this. We have told you and told you. That when you have sex. You should do it safely." Narcissa ranted to Draco

"I know I'm sorry. I just got caught up in the moment." Draco pleads to his mom

" That is no excuse Draco. Your mother and I will be leaving now. We'll be in touch sometime this week. So we can begin planning this wedding." Lucius tells Draco and Harry

" OK, wait what do you mean? What wedding?" Draco asks Lucius

"Yours and Harry's of course. "You know there's no other way to go about it. You are from two prominent pure blood families. And if you don't get married before the baby's born, it will be shunned. We all would be shunned. Good day" and with a pop he was gone, Narcissa popped away right after

"Hmm, that wasn't to bad." Harry said

" I guess, it wasn't as bad as I suspected, I bet your glad we already proposed to each other 4 months ago."

"Yes, Draco I am. Come on, Draco lets go to bed. We are telling the Weasley's tomorrow."

* * *

I sigh as I walk down the aisles of the candy shop. I am grabbing as much chocolate the little basket; I am carrying can hold. I figure that's probably about ten pounds. Hopefully the chocolate will calm Harry down. I think as the cashier bags the chocolate.

* * *

5 mins later: at Draco and Harry's apartment

"Harry! hun, please open the door!" Draco pleads to the closed bedroom door.

"NO! NO! No! and for the hundredth time I say NO!" Harry yells back

I can practally here the pout on Harrys face. This pregnancy is going to kill me, I am mostly sure of it.  
A pregnant Harry is a force to be reckoned with. Draco thinks as he pulls out the big guns.

"Harry, please come out, I have chocolate, a big bag of chocolate all for you"

In a blink of an eye, The bedroom door opens. Harry reaches out grabs the bag of chocolate and then he slams the door shut again. "I should say Thanks, But I wont you JackASS!" Harry yells from inside

I just blink in shock, while inside I am laughing at my Harry. He is so cute sometimes. Maybe I should punch Weasle erm Weasley again, It was fun. You could say it was almost Therapeutic. Hopefully, the other Weasley's will take the news better honestly of all days the weasel was the only one home and he is so annoying. I don't know how Harry can stand him. Or how Granger does either for that matter. Oh well, Its just another mystery of life.

But as you can tell. Harry didn't quite agree with Draco punching Ron. Even though Ron was acting like an ass. Draco could of handled it better. He didn't have to go all cave man like and start throwing punches. Honestly can't they just act like adults, gosh there so immature sometimes. That is the reason for closed Door. And the 10 pounds of chocolate that is being consumed that very night.

* * *

Harry and I went to The Burrow early this morning hoping to catch everyone there. Mr. and Mrs. Weasley were the only ones home.  
I couldn't help but to think that's actually a good thing that we are ending up telling everyone separately. However Harry doesn't think of it that way.

As soon as we walked in Molly (She insists we call her either Molly or Mom.) sat us down at the table and put a huge plate of food in front of each of us. We both dug in to the food with gusto, Molly really is a terrific cook. After we had finished we thanked Molly for a wonderful breakfast and we said we had in some news to tell them.  
I let Harry have the honor of telling them.

Molly was so thrilled by the pregnancy you could tell, her whole face lit up with a smile and her eyes pulled a dummbledorr and started to twinkle almost as soon as the words had slipped out of Harry's mouth he was swept up into a giant hug. While Mr. Weasley just clapped me on the back with a simple "congratulations Draco". I couldn't help but smile at the quiet mannered man.

she talked with Harry about baby furniture and all the other baby stuff we will need to buy. And as we left, Harry told her to get in touch with my mother. To talk about the wedding plans. That earned us both giant hugs. And with a promise to visit more Harry and I left The Burrow walking Hand in Hand in to the muggle village.

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please read and review.


	4. Chapter 4

Disclaimer: I do not own Harry potter, Dr. Seuss's how the Grinch stole Christmas or House MD. Nor do I make any money from this.

Author note: my mother passed away on the 9Th of December. So this story is on Hiatus for a Little while. I might sporadically update. (I am finally in the mindset to write again)

An: The first part of the chapter is a very strange dream of Harry's...just to cear up some confussion.

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Interlude

Dream sequence_

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It was a normal December morning at Princeton PlainsboroTeaching Hospital. Well as normal as can be with Dr. House around. Speaking of Dr. Gregory House.

He was all snuggled in his office hiding from Cuddy, his bottle of beloved viccodennot that far from him. His minions hem-hem I mean team were all scattered around doing whatever scary evil mind had came up with that day. It was during his planning of how to annoy Wilson for the hundredth billionth time that week. When his office door slammed open and Draco Malfoy appeared in the doorway in a jingle elf costume.

House opened his mouth to say something but found he was unable, speechless perhaps for the first time.

Draco opened his pouty lips and began to sing

" You're a mean one Dr. House, You really are an heel,Your as cuddly as a cactus,you're as charming as an eel, Dr. House ,You're a bad banana with a greasy black peel!

You're a monster, Dr. House,Your heart's an empty hole,Your brain is full of spiders, you have garlic in your soul, Dr. House,I wouldn't touch you with a thirty-nine-and-a-half foot pole!

You're a foul one, Dr. House,You have termites in your smile,You have all the tender sweetness of a seasick crocodile, Dr. House ,Given a choice between the two of you I'd take the seasick crocodile!

You're a rotter, Dr. House ,You're the king of sinful sots,Your heart's a dead tomato splotched with moldy purple spots, Dr. House ,You're a three Decker sauerkraut and toadstool sandwich with arsenic sauce!

You nauseate me, Dr. House ,With a nauseous super "naus"!,You're a crooked dirty jockey and you drive a crooked hoss, Dr. House ,Your soul is an appalling dump heap overflowing with the most disgraceful assortment of rubbish imaginable mangled up in tangled up knots!

You're a foul one, Dr. House ,You're a nasty wasty skunk,Your heart is full of unwashed socks, your soul is full of gunk, Dr. House ,The three words that best describe you are as follows, and I quote,'Stink, stank, stunk'!"

Dr. House just laughed and popped a couple viccoden in his mouth. That was the funniest thing he had heard all week.

Draco took a bow and left.

with a start Harry wakes up. That was very strange, maybe watching 'how the grinch stole christmas', and a 'house' marathon right after last wasn't such a great idea. But he really liked the idea of Draco in an elf costume. I will talk to Draco in the morning. He thinks before he reenters the land of nod.

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please read and review. I do hope you like it.


	5. Chapter 5 important author note on top

Authors note(6-25-2011): I have been having some issues lately. my dad has lung cancer its stage 3 and there doing tests this week to see if its stage 4. and were moving soon to be nearer to my dads i havent had time...And i just wanted to say I write fanfiction for fun and when i posted the other fic I wrote 3 yrs ago i knew it sucked I was just asking if you thought i should bother rewritting it. I did not expect all the rude comments i got on it. and what exactally does my age have to do with anything. I know i am not the greatest writer my school was crappy at teaching writing.(if you asked for help you got treated like you were stupid..so pretty quick you learned not to ask for help) and i have always had problems with spelling. but i try my best. and i am slowly getting better. I like constructive critisim dont get me wrong, anything that will help right i am all for. but not if its just critisim. One time someone told me i should go kill myself because i am a crappy writer. that is the wrong kind of critisim if you can tell. I have deleted the other fic and I might rewrite it someday. If you are still reading this just to note I will not be abandoning this. when i get back into the frame of mind to write which i am hoping will be soon. I will update and will possible be rewritting this. Thankyou

Authors note(4-1-11): hey sorry it has taken so long to update... but I have been extremely busy and hardly ever at home...plus had a slight case of writer's block :( and when i was at home I have been extremely busy doing spring cleaning...

So i hope its not complete crap.. but as usual please read and review

Disclaimer: I dont own Harry Potter, nor do I make any money from this.

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Draco sighed as he looked at himself in the bathroom mirror. He just couldn't believe Harry had talked him into wearing this costume. The green shorts, green t-shirt, green pointed hat with a stupid bell on it, the pointed shoes with bells, and the green and white polka dot socks were driving him mad. He felt ridiculous going out in public like this. Why, oh why did this years New Years Eve party have to be a costume party. Stupid mothers. He thought before leaving the bathroom

As he headed for the living room he looked into the newly added Nursery( Harry's Christmas present) for a moment noticing; How the zoo animals playing quidditch wallpaper really made the room full of Baby furniture,clothes, and toys seem bright and inviting. He let a smile come on his face and he continued on down the hallway.

As he entered the living room he couldn't help but admire How beautiful Harry looked in his pixie costume.

"Draco, my love you look amazing in that jingle elf costume." Harry said as he spotted Draco

"No where near as amazing as you do my love. Are you about ready to go my little pixie?" Draco asks as he wraps Harry up in hug and then sweeps him up into a earth shattering kiss.

*2 hrs 5 minutes later*

After their "make out" session ended and the appropriate clothes rearrangement spells had been applied they finally left for Narcissa's grand New Years Eve costume party.

*At Malfoy Manor Main Ballroom*

"Draco, So you finally decide to show up 40 minutes before midnight. We are going to have a long discussion about punctuality. young man! I expect better from you. Are you going to show up this late to your own wedding? Narcissa said as she practically pounced on her son as she saw him walk into the lavishly decorated ballroom

"We are very sorry, mother but something came up and we were quite busy for awhile. And no I do not plan to be this Late to my wedding i am pretty sure Harry would kill me." Draco says trying to placate his mother

" Damn right, I would." Harry says with a small smirk on his face

"Well were going to go make are rounds and try and greet as many people we can. We can talk later. Love you Mum!" Draco says as he leads Harry away.

"I love you to Draco, I will Floo you tomorrow so we can Finnish are discussion." She says gleefully to his back as he walked towards the food table.

Draco grimaces for a moment and says in a whisper "Just great."

Harry lets out a small chuckle.

" What are you laughing at my evil pixie. Mom will most likely want to go over wedding plans with you tomorrow ." Draco tells him

that shut Harry up immediately. and he said to Draco " Us, Draco Us! I am not going to be the only one planning this wedding" he finished with a small pout.

" Okay, Harry us." Draco says to Harry with a smile

They had finally finished greeting the guests just in time as it was time to go out into the garden so the could kick off the new year in style.

Outside the whole garden just glowed different colors as everyone sat down in there seats the count down begin

10,9,8,7,6,5,4,3,2,1,and finally Happy New Year appeared in the sky as fairies and other magical things and fireworks burst and flew into the sky.

" Happy New Year Harry! and Happy New Year my little baby!" Draco says as he rubbed Harrys slightly rounded stomach."


End file.
